Berkeley Brett
2008-08-03 14:20:44 UTC
(Note: the person posting this message does not agree with the
nihilistic viewpoint that follows -- but he does find the expression
of it amusing.... :)
"Deteriorata" is a famous parody of San Francisco radio and television
personality Les Crane's spoken word recording of Desiderata . It was
written by Tony Hendra and recorded by National Lampoon as part of
their National Lampoon Radio Dinner album of 1972.
The parody earned a great deal of cultural significance and popularity
as a frequent presentation on the Dr. Demento radio show. Les Crane
himself admitted to preferring this version over his Grammy-winning
recording of the original poem.
[from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deteriorata ]
Deteriorata
(National Lampoon)
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata, Deteriorata)
Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort
there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive
persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak
glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice,
even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss - and when. Consider
that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever
possible, put people on hold. Be comforted, that in the face of all
irridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of
time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and
mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise
caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest
to you... That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a
walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. Gracefully
surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan -
and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with
hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. Take heart in the
deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And
reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be
worse in Milwaukee.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be:
hairy thunderer** or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams,
promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE
UP!
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
=== end ===
** Note: some version have "hoary thunderer" here: I prefer such
versions.
For comparison, a bit about "Desiderata," the writing satirized
above. It contains many genuinely noble thoughts, in my view. (But
that doesn't mean we can't satirize it!)
=== Wikipedia ===
"Desiderata" (Latin for "desired things", plural of desideratum) is an
inspirational prose poem about attaining happiness in life. It was
first copyrighted in 1927 by Max Ehrmann.
In the 1960s, it was widely circulated without attribution to Ehrmann,
sometimes with the claim that it was found in Saint Paul's Church,
Baltimore, Maryland, and that it had been written in 1692 (the year of
the founding of Saint Paul's). Nevertheless, the estate of Ehrmann has
kept various editions of the work in print. A spoken-word recording of
the essay was made by Les Crane and reached #8 on the Billboard
magazine charts in late 1971....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata
==============
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
=== end ===
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html
--
Brett
http://www.100bestwebsites.org/
"The 100 finest sites on the Web, all in one place!"
Widely-watched non-profit ranking of top Internet sites
nihilistic viewpoint that follows -- but he does find the expression
of it amusing.... :)
"Deteriorata" is a famous parody of San Francisco radio and television
personality Les Crane's spoken word recording of Desiderata . It was
written by Tony Hendra and recorded by National Lampoon as part of
their National Lampoon Radio Dinner album of 1972.
The parody earned a great deal of cultural significance and popularity
as a frequent presentation on the Dr. Demento radio show. Les Crane
himself admitted to preferring this version over his Grammy-winning
recording of the original poem.
[from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deteriorata ]
Deteriorata
(National Lampoon)
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata, Deteriorata)
Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort
there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive
persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak
glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice,
even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss - and when. Consider
that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever
possible, put people on hold. Be comforted, that in the face of all
irridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of
time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and
mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise
caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest
to you... That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a
walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. Gracefully
surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan -
and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with
hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. Take heart in the
deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And
reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be
worse in Milwaukee.
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be:
hairy thunderer** or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams,
promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE
UP!
(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)
=== end ===
** Note: some version have "hoary thunderer" here: I prefer such
versions.
For comparison, a bit about "Desiderata," the writing satirized
above. It contains many genuinely noble thoughts, in my view. (But
that doesn't mean we can't satirize it!)
=== Wikipedia ===
"Desiderata" (Latin for "desired things", plural of desideratum) is an
inspirational prose poem about attaining happiness in life. It was
first copyrighted in 1927 by Max Ehrmann.
In the 1960s, it was widely circulated without attribution to Ehrmann,
sometimes with the claim that it was found in Saint Paul's Church,
Baltimore, Maryland, and that it had been written in 1692 (the year of
the founding of Saint Paul's). Nevertheless, the estate of Ehrmann has
kept various editions of the work in print. A spoken-word recording of
the essay was made by Les Crane and reached #8 on the Billboard
magazine charts in late 1971....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata
==============
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
=== end ===
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html
--
Brett
http://www.100bestwebsites.org/
"The 100 finest sites on the Web, all in one place!"
Widely-watched non-profit ranking of top Internet sites